REMEMBERING "DADDY"
[A Repost of my heartfelt tribute to my Father-in-Law who left for his heavenly abode exactly one year ago on 22nd September 2008]
LAST POST
In the early hours of the 22nd of September 2008, Pratap Dattatraya Joshi, breathed his last, and departed for his heavenly abode, at the Deenanath Mangeshkar Hospital in Pune.
Pratap Joshi was an epitome of simple living and high thinking. Born on the 6th of March 1932, he imbibed sterling values from his father, DP Joshi, a Teacher and Scout, a legend in his lifetime.
A product of the prestigious First Course of the National Defence Academy [or 1st JSW, as he liked to call it], Brigadier PD Joshi was certainly not the archetypal pompous hard-drinking handlebar-moustached high-falutin Colonel Blimp type of Officer.
He was a simple, down-to-earth, Spartan, unassuming, dedicated, sincere, patriotic, scrupulously honest, erudite person possessing a golden heart filled with humility and compassion. Throughout his distinguished career spanning 37 years, and even thereafter, he spread happiness, benevolence and goodwill owing to his cheerful disposition, kind-hearted nature and inimitable sense of humour.
Forever young at heart, Pratap Joshi did not suffer from the Auld Lang Syne Complex. After retirement he did not live in the past, languishing, melancholic and brooding about the “good old days”, but moved on with exceptional enthusiasm and childlike zeal to his new passions and loves – music and social work.
Starting from the scratch, he studied classical music with sheer dedication, resolute grit and passionate zest for many years till he was bestowed with the prestigious post graduate degree of Sangeet Alankar. Then he taught music to one and all, free of cost, making special efforts to teach the needy and underprivileged.
Travelling extensively, and roughing it out in the heart of the mofussil, to rural and far flung regions, he made a significant social contribution to enhancing primary education in backward areas, as the Chief Trustee of the Natu Foundation Educational Trust. He eagerly contributed his expertise to Jnana Prabodhini and for improving the efficiency of Hospitals.
Pratap Joshi loved animals, especially dogs. He always had pet dogs, and showered his unconditional love on them and all the dogs that he came across in the neighbourhood, pet and stray. It was distressing to see his pet dog Dolly desperately searching for him soon after he had gone away from us forever. We shall always remember the love with which he snuggled and cuddled Sherry, our Doberman girl, when she was a baby.
He had a genuine zest for living, and enjoyed every moment of his life, indulging himself in his favourite foods, movies, travel, music – anything he liked, he did it! He laughed, and made others laugh.
I first met Pratap Joshi in March 1982 and he left such a lasting impression on me that I became his fan ever since. He was my father-in-law, more like a loving father who I could count on to stand by me, advice and inspire me, in happiness and in adversity, and I shall forever cherish every moment I shared with him.
My son, a seafarer, was his favourite grandchild, the apple of his eye. It was a pity he couldn’t be with his beloved grandfather during his last moments as he was sailing on the high seas. Such are the tragedies and travesties of life, and death.
We will miss you dearly “Daddy”.
You lived your life to its fullest and loved all of us from the bottom of your heart. We are sure you will shower us with your blessings from your heavenly abode.
You were a noble, virtuous and morally upright man who always wished well and did good to everyone you met and wherever you went. May your Soul Rest in Peace. RIP.
VIKRAM KARVE
vikramkarve@sify.com
vikramkarve@hotmail.com
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com
http://www.linkedin.com/in/karve
Showing posts with label values. Show all posts
Showing posts with label values. Show all posts
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Friday, April 27, 2007
Values
A SENSE OF VALUES
By
VIKRAM KARVE
Values are core beliefs which guide and motivate attitudes and behavior. When you value something you want it (or want it to happen). Values are relatively permanent desires. Values are answers to the “why” question. You keep on asking “why” questions until you reach a point where you no longer want something for the sake of something else. At this point you have arrived at a value.
Let’s take an example – I was once teaching a Post Graduate Professional course at a centre of excellence and I asked a student, “Why are you doing this course?”
“To gain qualifications,” he answered.
“Why do you want to gain qualifications?”
“To succeed in my career.”
“Why do you want to succeed in your career?”
“To reach the top.”
“Why do you want to reach the top?”
“To get power.”
“Why do want do you want power?”
“To control people,” he answered.
“Why do you want to control people?”
“I want to control people.”
“Why?”
“I like to control people.”
“Why?”
“Just for the sake of it – I like controlling people,” he said and further why’s elicited similar responses related to control. [Control for the sake of control!]
I realized that control was one of his values and maybe he was a future megalomaniac in the making!
The same line of questioning of persons undergoing higher education may reveal values like knowledge, money, status, standard of living, ambition, achievement, growth, reputation, excellence, fame.
Values are our subjective reactions to the world around us. They guide and mold our options and behavior. Values are developed early in life and are very resistant to change. Values develop out of our direct experiences with people who are important to us, particularly our parents. Values rise not out of what people tell us, but as a result how they behave toward us and others. Remember, there can’t be any “partial” values; for example: you cannot be 50% honest (half-honest) – either you are honest or you are not.
Are you doing you MBA? Keep asking yourself why you are doing it, and you will ultimately arrive at your value.
“Why are you doing your MBA?”
“To learn management.”
“Why do you want to learn management?”
“To get a good job in a top firm as a manager.”
“Why?”
“To make more money.”
“Why?”
“To have a high standard of living.”
The guy I was talking to re-iterated here since standard of living was his value but you can go on and on till you find your value. In one case I was surprised to find conformance as a prime value in a student of MBA – she was doing MBA because everyone else was doing it!
With the rise and predominance of the utility value of education, the most important criterion for ranking B-Schools is the pay-packet their students get and not other factors like the quality of faculty and infrastructure, academic achievements and ambience etc. That’s why there is a rush towards IT and Computer Science as compared to other more interesting and challenging branches of Engineering and Technology – money seems to be the cardinal value amongst students these days! Some do prefer the civil services even after completing their Engineering from premier institutions as, for them, things like status, service, power may be important values.
• Is a high salary important to you?
• Is it important for your work to involve interacting with people?
• Is it important for your work to make a contribution to society?
• Is having a prestigious job important for you?
It is most important for you to find out your own values (by the “why” method) to avoid value mismatch. Value mismatch is at the root cause of dilemmas in your life. A conflict between your personal and organizational values may result in ethical dilemmas, while value mismatch between two persons may sow discord and cause stress and turbulence in a relationship.
Your values are possibly the most important thing to consider when you're choosing an occupation. If you don't take your values into account when planning your career, there's a good chance you'll dislike your work and therefore not succeed in it. For example, someone who needs to have autonomy in his work would not be happy in a job where every action is decided by someone else.
It is important to distinguish between values, interests, personality, and skills:
• Values: the things that are important to you, like achievement, status, and autonomy
• Interests: what you enjoy doing, like reading, taking long walks, eating good food, hanging out with friends
• Personality: a person's individual traits, motivational drives, needs, and attitudes
• Skills: the activities you are good at, such as writing, computer programming, teaching
Of these, interests, skills and personality can be developed, but values are intrinsic core beliefs inherent within you which you must endeavor to discover by yourself.
Whether it is your work or relationships, value congruence is of paramount importance – your values must be in harmony for the relationship to tick. Value Dissonance due to mismatch between individual values and organizational values can cause great strain and trauma at the workplace.
Even within yourself, in order to avoid inner conflict there must be no confusion about your true values. Remember the saying of Mahatma Gandhi: Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.
Dear Reader, sit down in a quiet place all by yourself, introspect, ask yourself the “why” question and find out your own values. First know yourself. Then know others – try to ascertain their values (personal values and organizational values too!). Avoid value-mismatch and value-dissonance to the extent feasible. The mutual harmony in your values should determine your choice of work, activities, relationships, friends and partner.
Is freedom an important value for you? Will the job you are considering (or the person you want to marry) give you enough freedom?
Do you value leisure? Oh, yes! Leisure is not only an important value but also a determinant of character – If you want to know about a man find out how he spends his leisure! It’s true in your case too – If you had a day off what will you do? Read a book, write a story, go hiking outdoors, play your favorite sport, adventure sports, chat with friends, picnic, see a movie, eat your favorite cuisine in a restaurant, or cook it yourself, socialize in your club, spend the day at home with your family, or see TV at home, or just spend the day in glorious solitude enjoying quality time with yourself? Or would you rather not “waste” your leisure time and spend the day doing something “useful” connected with your work, career or advancement towards “achieving” your “goals”? How you spend your leisure reveals your values too!
Do you value humor, fun, pleasure, food, enjoyment, sex, family life, quality of life, status, money, success, fame, power, prestige, security, nature, loyalty, love, affection, independence, privacy, togetherness, tranquility, adventure, leadership, followership, competition, contentment, creativity – find out for yourself, and in others who you want to relate with – match and harmonize your values, and be happy and fulfilled in your work and your relationships.
Remember, at any important milestone in your life, when you have to make a vital decision, whether you are on the verge of selecting a job or a marriage partner – trust your sense of values!
In conclusion here is a quote from the German Philosopher Friedrich Hegel:
“A man who has work that suits him, and a wife whom he loves, has squared his accounts with life”
VIKRAM KARVE
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com
http://www.linkedin.com/in/karve
vikramkarve@sify.com
By
VIKRAM KARVE
Values are core beliefs which guide and motivate attitudes and behavior. When you value something you want it (or want it to happen). Values are relatively permanent desires. Values are answers to the “why” question. You keep on asking “why” questions until you reach a point where you no longer want something for the sake of something else. At this point you have arrived at a value.
Let’s take an example – I was once teaching a Post Graduate Professional course at a centre of excellence and I asked a student, “Why are you doing this course?”
“To gain qualifications,” he answered.
“Why do you want to gain qualifications?”
“To succeed in my career.”
“Why do you want to succeed in your career?”
“To reach the top.”
“Why do you want to reach the top?”
“To get power.”
“Why do want do you want power?”
“To control people,” he answered.
“Why do you want to control people?”
“I want to control people.”
“Why?”
“I like to control people.”
“Why?”
“Just for the sake of it – I like controlling people,” he said and further why’s elicited similar responses related to control. [Control for the sake of control!]
I realized that control was one of his values and maybe he was a future megalomaniac in the making!
The same line of questioning of persons undergoing higher education may reveal values like knowledge, money, status, standard of living, ambition, achievement, growth, reputation, excellence, fame.
Values are our subjective reactions to the world around us. They guide and mold our options and behavior. Values are developed early in life and are very resistant to change. Values develop out of our direct experiences with people who are important to us, particularly our parents. Values rise not out of what people tell us, but as a result how they behave toward us and others. Remember, there can’t be any “partial” values; for example: you cannot be 50% honest (half-honest) – either you are honest or you are not.
Are you doing you MBA? Keep asking yourself why you are doing it, and you will ultimately arrive at your value.
“Why are you doing your MBA?”
“To learn management.”
“Why do you want to learn management?”
“To get a good job in a top firm as a manager.”
“Why?”
“To make more money.”
“Why?”
“To have a high standard of living.”
The guy I was talking to re-iterated here since standard of living was his value but you can go on and on till you find your value. In one case I was surprised to find conformance as a prime value in a student of MBA – she was doing MBA because everyone else was doing it!
With the rise and predominance of the utility value of education, the most important criterion for ranking B-Schools is the pay-packet their students get and not other factors like the quality of faculty and infrastructure, academic achievements and ambience etc. That’s why there is a rush towards IT and Computer Science as compared to other more interesting and challenging branches of Engineering and Technology – money seems to be the cardinal value amongst students these days! Some do prefer the civil services even after completing their Engineering from premier institutions as, for them, things like status, service, power may be important values.
• Is a high salary important to you?
• Is it important for your work to involve interacting with people?
• Is it important for your work to make a contribution to society?
• Is having a prestigious job important for you?
It is most important for you to find out your own values (by the “why” method) to avoid value mismatch. Value mismatch is at the root cause of dilemmas in your life. A conflict between your personal and organizational values may result in ethical dilemmas, while value mismatch between two persons may sow discord and cause stress and turbulence in a relationship.
Your values are possibly the most important thing to consider when you're choosing an occupation. If you don't take your values into account when planning your career, there's a good chance you'll dislike your work and therefore not succeed in it. For example, someone who needs to have autonomy in his work would not be happy in a job where every action is decided by someone else.
It is important to distinguish between values, interests, personality, and skills:
• Values: the things that are important to you, like achievement, status, and autonomy
• Interests: what you enjoy doing, like reading, taking long walks, eating good food, hanging out with friends
• Personality: a person's individual traits, motivational drives, needs, and attitudes
• Skills: the activities you are good at, such as writing, computer programming, teaching
Of these, interests, skills and personality can be developed, but values are intrinsic core beliefs inherent within you which you must endeavor to discover by yourself.
Whether it is your work or relationships, value congruence is of paramount importance – your values must be in harmony for the relationship to tick. Value Dissonance due to mismatch between individual values and organizational values can cause great strain and trauma at the workplace.
Even within yourself, in order to avoid inner conflict there must be no confusion about your true values. Remember the saying of Mahatma Gandhi: Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.
Dear Reader, sit down in a quiet place all by yourself, introspect, ask yourself the “why” question and find out your own values. First know yourself. Then know others – try to ascertain their values (personal values and organizational values too!). Avoid value-mismatch and value-dissonance to the extent feasible. The mutual harmony in your values should determine your choice of work, activities, relationships, friends and partner.
Is freedom an important value for you? Will the job you are considering (or the person you want to marry) give you enough freedom?
Do you value leisure? Oh, yes! Leisure is not only an important value but also a determinant of character – If you want to know about a man find out how he spends his leisure! It’s true in your case too – If you had a day off what will you do? Read a book, write a story, go hiking outdoors, play your favorite sport, adventure sports, chat with friends, picnic, see a movie, eat your favorite cuisine in a restaurant, or cook it yourself, socialize in your club, spend the day at home with your family, or see TV at home, or just spend the day in glorious solitude enjoying quality time with yourself? Or would you rather not “waste” your leisure time and spend the day doing something “useful” connected with your work, career or advancement towards “achieving” your “goals”? How you spend your leisure reveals your values too!
Do you value humor, fun, pleasure, food, enjoyment, sex, family life, quality of life, status, money, success, fame, power, prestige, security, nature, loyalty, love, affection, independence, privacy, togetherness, tranquility, adventure, leadership, followership, competition, contentment, creativity – find out for yourself, and in others who you want to relate with – match and harmonize your values, and be happy and fulfilled in your work and your relationships.
Remember, at any important milestone in your life, when you have to make a vital decision, whether you are on the verge of selecting a job or a marriage partner – trust your sense of values!
In conclusion here is a quote from the German Philosopher Friedrich Hegel:
“A man who has work that suits him, and a wife whom he loves, has squared his accounts with life”
VIKRAM KARVE
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com
http://www.linkedin.com/in/karve
vikramkarve@sify.com
Monday, March 12, 2007
The Art of Happiness
THE ART OF HAPPINESS
by
VIKRAM KARVE
The primary aim of philosophy and spirituality is to help ordinary people live a life of happiness, fulfillment and tranquility. Every day you ask yourself - How do I live a happy life? Is it simple to be happy? What is the art of happiness? Let us see what the Taoist philosopher Mingliaotse has to say: " The art of attaining happiness consists in keeping your pleasures mild."
You know that whenever pleasure is present you are happy - this is a fact that cannot be denied - for a pleasure is an enjoyable event or delightful emotion which is bound to make you happy, at least for that moment.
Highfalutin philosophers and spiritual gurus may prescribe various impracticable esoteric paths of renunciation, asceticism or sectarian precepts eschewing enjoyment and pleasure as the sine qua non of happiness but the fact of the matter is that to the ordinary person happiness and pleasure are inextricably intertwined.
Discovering enduring pleasures which you can easily and regularly achieve, realize and enjoy in your day-to-day life will produce contentment, fulfillment and happiness.
No pleasure is a bad thing in itself, but wanton pursuit of pleasures is counterproductive as it leads to over-indulgence and excesses which bring with them disturbances which are detrimental to our happiness and well-being.
In your search for happiness you indulge in extravagant parties, expensive entertainments and try to enjoy everything at once, instant gratification by over-indulgence in wining, dining and dancing, stretching yourself to the maximum limits possible; at first you enjoy yourself and feel happy but when you come to the point of satiety you begin to feel a sense of repulsion, and if you overdo yourself, next morning wake up sick and feeling miserable with a sense of sadness rather than happiness. Grandiose, complicated, ostentatious and intemperate indulgences which you think will make you happy , in actual fact leaves you stressed-out, unhappy and causes you harm in the long run.
There is no need to overdo things in order to be happy. Just keep your pleasures mild. Enjoying a simple, tasty and healthy meal with your loved one's and friends, or just sitting quietly and leisurely reading a good book, taking a walk enjoying melodious music, enjoying your work, leisure, hobbies are some mild pleasures which will make you happy and keep you healthy too.
It is simple to be happy. The first thing you must do is to introspect and list your most pleasurable activities - things that give you true joy, happiness and satisfaction - in all aspects of your life. Make your list as exhaustive as possible and from this list select those "mild" pleasures that you can enjoy every day or often. And then fit them into your daily routine. See what happens. Experiment. Delete those "pleasures" that you thought would give you happiness but actually made you stressed-out - things you think would be satisfying but turn out to be unrewarding. Do not be hesitant to add new items to your list - you can always remove them if they fail to produce the desired results. Fine tune and religiously practice your list - and experience happiness every day.
This prescription of keeping your pleasures mild will enable you to structure your life in way where your happiness will be in your control and you will find greater joy in your life. It will be feasible and within your control to ensure that you enjoy these mild pleasures daily or at least fairly regularly and, with only so many hours during the day, these enjoyable events will begin to crowd out the neutral, unpleasant, and irrelevant activities in your daily life and make you feel fulfilled and happy.
Dear reader, start today and discover the art of happiness. And do let me know your experience - did keeping your pleasures mild make you happier? And which are your mild pleasures?
VIKRAM KARVE
vikramkarve@sify.com
http://karve.wordpress.com/
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/
by
VIKRAM KARVE
The primary aim of philosophy and spirituality is to help ordinary people live a life of happiness, fulfillment and tranquility. Every day you ask yourself - How do I live a happy life? Is it simple to be happy? What is the art of happiness? Let us see what the Taoist philosopher Mingliaotse has to say: " The art of attaining happiness consists in keeping your pleasures mild."
You know that whenever pleasure is present you are happy - this is a fact that cannot be denied - for a pleasure is an enjoyable event or delightful emotion which is bound to make you happy, at least for that moment.
Highfalutin philosophers and spiritual gurus may prescribe various impracticable esoteric paths of renunciation, asceticism or sectarian precepts eschewing enjoyment and pleasure as the sine qua non of happiness but the fact of the matter is that to the ordinary person happiness and pleasure are inextricably intertwined.
Discovering enduring pleasures which you can easily and regularly achieve, realize and enjoy in your day-to-day life will produce contentment, fulfillment and happiness.
No pleasure is a bad thing in itself, but wanton pursuit of pleasures is counterproductive as it leads to over-indulgence and excesses which bring with them disturbances which are detrimental to our happiness and well-being.
In your search for happiness you indulge in extravagant parties, expensive entertainments and try to enjoy everything at once, instant gratification by over-indulgence in wining, dining and dancing, stretching yourself to the maximum limits possible; at first you enjoy yourself and feel happy but when you come to the point of satiety you begin to feel a sense of repulsion, and if you overdo yourself, next morning wake up sick and feeling miserable with a sense of sadness rather than happiness. Grandiose, complicated, ostentatious and intemperate indulgences which you think will make you happy , in actual fact leaves you stressed-out, unhappy and causes you harm in the long run.
There is no need to overdo things in order to be happy. Just keep your pleasures mild. Enjoying a simple, tasty and healthy meal with your loved one's and friends, or just sitting quietly and leisurely reading a good book, taking a walk enjoying melodious music, enjoying your work, leisure, hobbies are some mild pleasures which will make you happy and keep you healthy too.
It is simple to be happy. The first thing you must do is to introspect and list your most pleasurable activities - things that give you true joy, happiness and satisfaction - in all aspects of your life. Make your list as exhaustive as possible and from this list select those "mild" pleasures that you can enjoy every day or often. And then fit them into your daily routine. See what happens. Experiment. Delete those "pleasures" that you thought would give you happiness but actually made you stressed-out - things you think would be satisfying but turn out to be unrewarding. Do not be hesitant to add new items to your list - you can always remove them if they fail to produce the desired results. Fine tune and religiously practice your list - and experience happiness every day.
This prescription of keeping your pleasures mild will enable you to structure your life in way where your happiness will be in your control and you will find greater joy in your life. It will be feasible and within your control to ensure that you enjoy these mild pleasures daily or at least fairly regularly and, with only so many hours during the day, these enjoyable events will begin to crowd out the neutral, unpleasant, and irrelevant activities in your daily life and make you feel fulfilled and happy.
Dear reader, start today and discover the art of happiness. And do let me know your experience - did keeping your pleasures mild make you happier? And which are your mild pleasures?
VIKRAM KARVE
vikramkarve@sify.com
http://karve.wordpress.com/
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/
Friday, January 05, 2007
MUSINGS BY VIKRAM KARVE ON THE ART OF LIVING
MUSINGS BY VIKRAM KARVE ON THE ART OF LIVING
My name is Vikram Karve. I’m 50 and live in Pune, India. I love reading, writing and blogging and have a philosophical attitude towards life. Here are a few links to my musings on various aspects of the art of living. I trust you will enjoy and derive benefit by reading them. Do send me your comments and feedback to:
vikramkarve@sify.com
vikramkarve@hotmail.com
TEACHING STORIES
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/post/2006/09/two-teaching-stories.htm
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/post/2006/11/the-sweet-chillies.htm
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/post/2006/10/a-room-with-a-variable-climate.htm
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/post/2006/09/teaching-stories-part-4-by-vikram-karve-on-teachers.htm
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/post/2006/09/teaching-stories-part-3-by-vikram-karve.htm
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/post/2006/08/teaching-stories-part-2-by-vikram-karve.htm
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/post/2006/08/teaching-stories.htm
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/post/2005/10/a-teaching-story-by-vikram-karve.htm
Book Review of THE IMPORTANCE OF LIVING by LIN YUTANG
[A book that shaped my life and taught me the art of living]
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/post/2007/01/the-art-of-living.htm
http://karve.wordpress.com/2007/01/05/the-art-of-living/
THE ART OF HAPPINESS
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/post/2006/11/the-art-of-happiness-by-vikram-karve.htm
http://karve.wordpress.com/2006/11/23/the-art-of-happiness-by-vikram-karve/
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/post/2006/01/happiness.htm
THE ART OF EATING
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/post/2006/11/the-art-of-eating.htm
http://karve.wordpress.com/2006/11/08/the-art-of-eating-by-vikram-karve/
HOW I QUIT SMOKING
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/post/2006/12/how-i-quit-smoking.htm
http://karve.wordpress.com/2006/12/22/how-i-quit-smoking-by-vikram-karve/
THE DAY AFTER I QUIT SMOKING
http://karve.wordpress.com/2006/12/29/the-day-after-i-quit-smoking-by-vikram-karve/
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/post/2006/12/the-day-after-i-quit-smoking.htm
DO YOU WANT TO QUIT DRINKING?
http://karve.wordpress.com/2006/12/22/force-field-analysis-helps-you-quit-drinking/
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/post/2006/10/want-to-quit-drinking-.htm
TIME MANAGEMENT – SPEND TIME ADD VALUE
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/post/2006/11/time-management.htm
A SENSE OF VALUES
http://karve.wordpress.com/2006/11/08/a-sense-of-values-by-vikram-karve/
THE MAP IS NOT THE TERRITORY
http://karve.wordpress.com/2006/11/23/the-map-is-not-the-territory-by-vikram-karve/
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/post/2006/11/the-map-is-not-the-territory.htm
THE SWEET CHILLIES
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/post/2006/11/the-sweet-chillies.htm
COOSING THE RIGHT CAREER
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/post/2006/11/choosing-the-right-career.htm
EPICTETUS – THE ART OF LIVING
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/post/2006/10/the-art-of-living-a-book-review--2.htm
80/20 LIVING
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/post/2006/10/a-book-review-80-20-principle.htm
A TEACHING STORY
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/post/2006/10/a-room-with-a-variable-climate.htm
BOOK REVIEW – A SOLDIER’S STORY
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/post/2006/09/book-review-a-soldier-s-story.htm
ORIENTAL STORIES – A FASCINATING BOOK
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/post/2006/09/a-fascinating-book.htm
KNOW YOUR VALUES FOR HAPPINESS AND HARMONY
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/post/2006/09/know-your-values-for-harmony-and-happiness.htm
HURRY SICKNESS
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/post/2006/09/hurry-sickness.htm
BIBLIOTHERAPY
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/post/2006/09/bibliotherapy.htm
LIFE PROCESS OUTSOURCING (LPO)
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/post/2006/08/life-process-outsourcing-lpo.htm
BOOK REVIEW – THE PETER PRINCIPLE AND PETER PRESCRIPTION
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/post/2006/08/book-review-the-peter-prescription-the-peter-principle.htm
ETHICAL FITNESS
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/post/2006/07/ethical-fitness-2.htm
THOUGHT CONTROL
http://karve.wordpress.com/2007/01/05/be-happy-and-healthy/
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/post/2006/06/monday-morning-rumination.htm
HAIKU
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/post/2006/06/haiku-minerva-moment-by-vikram-karve.htm
AN AFFAIR TO REMEMBER
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/post/2005/12/the-art-of-eating-an-affair-to-remember-by-vikram.htm
MANAGEMENT OF THE ABSURD – A book review
http://karve.sulekha.com/blog/post/2006/09/management-of-the-absurd.htm
MAHARSHI KARVE – BOOKS ON HIS LIFE AND TIMES
http://karve.sulekha.com/blog/post/2006/08/maharshi-karve-books-on-his-life-and-times.htm
I hope you enjoyed these articles and look forward to your feedback. I’ll keep on posting.
VIKRAM KARVE
Pune India
vikramkarve@sify.com
vikramkarve@hotmail.com
My name is Vikram Karve. I’m 50 and live in Pune, India. I love reading, writing and blogging and have a philosophical attitude towards life. Here are a few links to my musings on various aspects of the art of living. I trust you will enjoy and derive benefit by reading them. Do send me your comments and feedback to:
vikramkarve@sify.com
vikramkarve@hotmail.com
TEACHING STORIES
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/post/2006/09/two-teaching-stories.htm
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/post/2006/11/the-sweet-chillies.htm
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/post/2006/10/a-room-with-a-variable-climate.htm
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/post/2006/09/teaching-stories-part-4-by-vikram-karve-on-teachers.htm
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/post/2006/09/teaching-stories-part-3-by-vikram-karve.htm
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/post/2006/08/teaching-stories-part-2-by-vikram-karve.htm
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/post/2006/08/teaching-stories.htm
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/post/2005/10/a-teaching-story-by-vikram-karve.htm
Book Review of THE IMPORTANCE OF LIVING by LIN YUTANG
[A book that shaped my life and taught me the art of living]
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/post/2007/01/the-art-of-living.htm
http://karve.wordpress.com/2007/01/05/the-art-of-living/
THE ART OF HAPPINESS
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/post/2006/11/the-art-of-happiness-by-vikram-karve.htm
http://karve.wordpress.com/2006/11/23/the-art-of-happiness-by-vikram-karve/
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/post/2006/01/happiness.htm
THE ART OF EATING
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/post/2006/11/the-art-of-eating.htm
http://karve.wordpress.com/2006/11/08/the-art-of-eating-by-vikram-karve/
HOW I QUIT SMOKING
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/post/2006/12/how-i-quit-smoking.htm
http://karve.wordpress.com/2006/12/22/how-i-quit-smoking-by-vikram-karve/
THE DAY AFTER I QUIT SMOKING
http://karve.wordpress.com/2006/12/29/the-day-after-i-quit-smoking-by-vikram-karve/
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/post/2006/12/the-day-after-i-quit-smoking.htm
DO YOU WANT TO QUIT DRINKING?
http://karve.wordpress.com/2006/12/22/force-field-analysis-helps-you-quit-drinking/
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/post/2006/10/want-to-quit-drinking-.htm
TIME MANAGEMENT – SPEND TIME ADD VALUE
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/post/2006/11/time-management.htm
A SENSE OF VALUES
http://karve.wordpress.com/2006/11/08/a-sense-of-values-by-vikram-karve/
THE MAP IS NOT THE TERRITORY
http://karve.wordpress.com/2006/11/23/the-map-is-not-the-territory-by-vikram-karve/
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/post/2006/11/the-map-is-not-the-territory.htm
THE SWEET CHILLIES
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/post/2006/11/the-sweet-chillies.htm
COOSING THE RIGHT CAREER
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/post/2006/11/choosing-the-right-career.htm
EPICTETUS – THE ART OF LIVING
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/post/2006/10/the-art-of-living-a-book-review--2.htm
80/20 LIVING
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/post/2006/10/a-book-review-80-20-principle.htm
A TEACHING STORY
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/post/2006/10/a-room-with-a-variable-climate.htm
BOOK REVIEW – A SOLDIER’S STORY
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/post/2006/09/book-review-a-soldier-s-story.htm
ORIENTAL STORIES – A FASCINATING BOOK
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/post/2006/09/a-fascinating-book.htm
KNOW YOUR VALUES FOR HAPPINESS AND HARMONY
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/post/2006/09/know-your-values-for-harmony-and-happiness.htm
HURRY SICKNESS
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/post/2006/09/hurry-sickness.htm
BIBLIOTHERAPY
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/post/2006/09/bibliotherapy.htm
LIFE PROCESS OUTSOURCING (LPO)
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/post/2006/08/life-process-outsourcing-lpo.htm
BOOK REVIEW – THE PETER PRINCIPLE AND PETER PRESCRIPTION
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/post/2006/08/book-review-the-peter-prescription-the-peter-principle.htm
ETHICAL FITNESS
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/post/2006/07/ethical-fitness-2.htm
THOUGHT CONTROL
http://karve.wordpress.com/2007/01/05/be-happy-and-healthy/
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/post/2006/06/monday-morning-rumination.htm
HAIKU
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/post/2006/06/haiku-minerva-moment-by-vikram-karve.htm
AN AFFAIR TO REMEMBER
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/post/2005/12/the-art-of-eating-an-affair-to-remember-by-vikram.htm
MANAGEMENT OF THE ABSURD – A book review
http://karve.sulekha.com/blog/post/2006/09/management-of-the-absurd.htm
MAHARSHI KARVE – BOOKS ON HIS LIFE AND TIMES
http://karve.sulekha.com/blog/post/2006/08/maharshi-karve-books-on-his-life-and-times.htm
I hope you enjoyed these articles and look forward to your feedback. I’ll keep on posting.
VIKRAM KARVE
Pune India
vikramkarve@sify.com
vikramkarve@hotmail.com
Thursday, November 23, 2006
THE MAP IS NOT THE TERRITORY by VIKRAM KARVE
The Map is not the Territory
By
Vikram Karve
“ The map is not the territory ”
What does this mean ?
Liehtse’s famous parable of the Old Man at the Fort is perhaps apt to illustrate this concept :-
An Old Man was living with his Son at an abandoned fort on the top of a hill, and one day he lost a horse.
The neighbours came to express their sympathy for this misfortune, but the Old Man asked, “ How do you know this bad luck ? The fact is that one horse is missing and there is one horse less in the stables. That is the fact. Whether it is good luck or bad luck – that is a matter of judgment.”
A few days afterwards, his horse returned with a number of wild horses, and his neighbours came again to congratulate him on this stroke of fortune, and the Old Man replied, “ How do you know this is good luck ? The fact is that there are more horses in my stable than before. Whether it is good luck or bad luck – well that is a matter of opinion.”
With so many horses around, his son began to take to riding, and one day while riding a wild horse he was thrown off and broke his leg. Again the neighbours came around to express their sympathy, and the Old Man replied, “ How do you know this is bad luck ?”
A few days later a war broke out and all the able bodied men were forcibly conscripted into the army, sent to the warfront to fight and most of them were killed or wounded. Because the Old Man’s son had a broken leg he did not have to go to the front and his life was saved.
This parable drives home the lesson that there are no such things like good luck and bad luck. What disturbs you are not events but your attitude towards them. You must learn to distinguish between facts and your attitude or judgment towards those facts. It’s all in the mind. Facts are like territory – ground reality. But the way you interpret or judge those facts, your attitude towards them, depends on your mental map.
This mental map is formed due to your values, beliefs and experiences and you tend to view the actual facts or events (territory) through mental filters based on your values, beliefs, biases, prejudices and experiences which form your mental map.
Remember, just like the actual physical geographical territory exists on the ground and its map is drawn on paper, actual facts and events happen in reality and each one of us interprets them depending on the different maps in our minds.
Events, by themselves, don’t hurt you, it is your attitudes and responses ( mental maps) that disturb you and give you trouble. It then becomes your paramount duty to introspect and continuously redesign your mental maps to develop the correct attitude and responses towards external events.
When something happens the only thing in your power is your attitude towards it. We cannot choose our external circumstances, but we can always choose how we respond to them. The secret of inner calm lies inside you, in developing the proper mental “maps” and correct attitude in your mind, so that you are not disturbed by the vicissitudes of external events which are akin to the outside “territory”.
Remember, the map is not the territory.
VIKRAM KARVE
E-mail : vikramkarve@sify.com
By
Vikram Karve
“ The map is not the territory ”
What does this mean ?
Liehtse’s famous parable of the Old Man at the Fort is perhaps apt to illustrate this concept :-
An Old Man was living with his Son at an abandoned fort on the top of a hill, and one day he lost a horse.
The neighbours came to express their sympathy for this misfortune, but the Old Man asked, “ How do you know this bad luck ? The fact is that one horse is missing and there is one horse less in the stables. That is the fact. Whether it is good luck or bad luck – that is a matter of judgment.”
A few days afterwards, his horse returned with a number of wild horses, and his neighbours came again to congratulate him on this stroke of fortune, and the Old Man replied, “ How do you know this is good luck ? The fact is that there are more horses in my stable than before. Whether it is good luck or bad luck – well that is a matter of opinion.”
With so many horses around, his son began to take to riding, and one day while riding a wild horse he was thrown off and broke his leg. Again the neighbours came around to express their sympathy, and the Old Man replied, “ How do you know this is bad luck ?”
A few days later a war broke out and all the able bodied men were forcibly conscripted into the army, sent to the warfront to fight and most of them were killed or wounded. Because the Old Man’s son had a broken leg he did not have to go to the front and his life was saved.
This parable drives home the lesson that there are no such things like good luck and bad luck. What disturbs you are not events but your attitude towards them. You must learn to distinguish between facts and your attitude or judgment towards those facts. It’s all in the mind. Facts are like territory – ground reality. But the way you interpret or judge those facts, your attitude towards them, depends on your mental map.
This mental map is formed due to your values, beliefs and experiences and you tend to view the actual facts or events (territory) through mental filters based on your values, beliefs, biases, prejudices and experiences which form your mental map.
Remember, just like the actual physical geographical territory exists on the ground and its map is drawn on paper, actual facts and events happen in reality and each one of us interprets them depending on the different maps in our minds.
Events, by themselves, don’t hurt you, it is your attitudes and responses ( mental maps) that disturb you and give you trouble. It then becomes your paramount duty to introspect and continuously redesign your mental maps to develop the correct attitude and responses towards external events.
When something happens the only thing in your power is your attitude towards it. We cannot choose our external circumstances, but we can always choose how we respond to them. The secret of inner calm lies inside you, in developing the proper mental “maps” and correct attitude in your mind, so that you are not disturbed by the vicissitudes of external events which are akin to the outside “territory”.
Remember, the map is not the territory.
VIKRAM KARVE
E-mail : vikramkarve@sify.com
Friday, October 27, 2006
ITBHU - My Alma Mater
ITBHU
Institute of Technology
Banaras Hindu University
Varanasi
On what basis do you judge an educational institution – an Engineering College or a B-School? In today’s world there is just one criterion – market value – the starting salaries and campus placement the students get. For today’s students it’s all about money, ambition and careerism – the more exorbitant the astronomical pay packets, and the greater the percentage of lucrative campus placements, the better the institution. And with the increasing commercialization of education, many institutes blatantly compete, advertise and focus on these materialistic aspects to attract students – it’s a rat race.
I feel the cardinal yardstick for appraising the true merit of an educational institution is the value-addition it instills in its students – and I’m not talking of utility value alone; but more importantly the inculcation and enhancement of intrinsic values. The student should feel he or she has changed for the better, professionally and personally; and so should other stakeholders observing the student from the outside be able to discern the value enhancement.
I studied engineering at ITBHU from 1972 to 1977 (first batch IIT JEE) and I experienced the well-rounded value addition I have mentioned above. I did my post graduation at a premier IIT and later taught at a prestigious university, but I cherish my days at ITBHU the most. I knew I was a better man, in my entirety, having passed through the portals of ITBHU, and I’m sure those scrutinizing me from the outside felt the same way.
ITBHU was amalgamated by integrating three of the country’s oldest and best engineering colleges: BENCO (Banaras Engineering College) – the first to introduce the disciplines of Electrical and Mechanical Engineering in India, MINMET – the pioneer in Mining and Metallurgy, and College of Technology – the first to start Chemical and Ceramic Engineering.
In my time it was indeed a center of excellence and a lovely place to be in.
Learning from dedicated Professors, who were authorities in their subjects, amidst excellent academic facilities and ambience, elaborate labs and workshops, lush green campus, comfortable hostels, delicious food, expansive sports fields and beautiful swimming pool, the unique library, and the exquisite temple that added a spiritual quality to the scholarly ambiance – it was an unparalleled experience. One could learn heritage and foreign languages, fine arts, music, indology, philosophy, yoga, pursue hobbies like numismatics – the avenues for learning were mind-boggling. The idyllic environs and sanctimonious atmosphere of BHU were ideal for reflection and contemplation and helped one develop a philosophical attitude to life.
Like all premier institutes ITBHU was fully residential, which fostered camaraderie and facilitated lifelong friendships amongst the alumni. I can never forget those delightful days in Dhanrajgiri, Morvi, Vishwakarma, Vishveswarayya and CV Raman hostels.
Way back then, ITBHU was a wonderful place to study engineering. I wonder what my dear alma mater is like now!
VIKRAM KARVE
vikramkarve@sify.com
http://karve.sulekha.com
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com
http://foodiekarve.sulekha.com
Institute of Technology
Banaras Hindu University
Varanasi
On what basis do you judge an educational institution – an Engineering College or a B-School? In today’s world there is just one criterion – market value – the starting salaries and campus placement the students get. For today’s students it’s all about money, ambition and careerism – the more exorbitant the astronomical pay packets, and the greater the percentage of lucrative campus placements, the better the institution. And with the increasing commercialization of education, many institutes blatantly compete, advertise and focus on these materialistic aspects to attract students – it’s a rat race.
I feel the cardinal yardstick for appraising the true merit of an educational institution is the value-addition it instills in its students – and I’m not talking of utility value alone; but more importantly the inculcation and enhancement of intrinsic values. The student should feel he or she has changed for the better, professionally and personally; and so should other stakeholders observing the student from the outside be able to discern the value enhancement.
I studied engineering at ITBHU from 1972 to 1977 (first batch IIT JEE) and I experienced the well-rounded value addition I have mentioned above. I did my post graduation at a premier IIT and later taught at a prestigious university, but I cherish my days at ITBHU the most. I knew I was a better man, in my entirety, having passed through the portals of ITBHU, and I’m sure those scrutinizing me from the outside felt the same way.
ITBHU was amalgamated by integrating three of the country’s oldest and best engineering colleges: BENCO (Banaras Engineering College) – the first to introduce the disciplines of Electrical and Mechanical Engineering in India, MINMET – the pioneer in Mining and Metallurgy, and College of Technology – the first to start Chemical and Ceramic Engineering.
In my time it was indeed a center of excellence and a lovely place to be in.
Learning from dedicated Professors, who were authorities in their subjects, amidst excellent academic facilities and ambience, elaborate labs and workshops, lush green campus, comfortable hostels, delicious food, expansive sports fields and beautiful swimming pool, the unique library, and the exquisite temple that added a spiritual quality to the scholarly ambiance – it was an unparalleled experience. One could learn heritage and foreign languages, fine arts, music, indology, philosophy, yoga, pursue hobbies like numismatics – the avenues for learning were mind-boggling. The idyllic environs and sanctimonious atmosphere of BHU were ideal for reflection and contemplation and helped one develop a philosophical attitude to life.
Like all premier institutes ITBHU was fully residential, which fostered camaraderie and facilitated lifelong friendships amongst the alumni. I can never forget those delightful days in Dhanrajgiri, Morvi, Vishwakarma, Vishveswarayya and CV Raman hostels.
Way back then, ITBHU was a wonderful place to study engineering. I wonder what my dear alma mater is like now!
VIKRAM KARVE
vikramkarve@sify.com
http://karve.sulekha.com
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com
http://foodiekarve.sulekha.com
Thursday, October 26, 2006
THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS
THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS
(a short story)
by
VIKRAM KARVE
A middle aged woman watches the sun set from the balcony of her tenth floor flat of one of those ubiquitous residential “townships” rapidly sprawling and proliferating around the once remote suburb of Aundh on the outskirts of the once beautiful and picturesque city of
“Good news,” his wife says exuberantly, giving him his customary cup of tea.
“What?” the husband asks nonchalantly, carefully pouring the precise amount of tea from the cup into the saucer and lifting the saucer to his lips to enjoy his tea in his usual habitual manner.
“Nalini is pregnant,” the wife exults.
“At long last! I’m so glad she found time from her busy schedule,” the husband comments acerbically and noisily sips his tea in his customary style.
“Don’t be sarcastic. She’s a career woman. Aren’t you happy?”
“Of course I’m happy. I’m over 50 now – it’s high time I became a grandfather.”
“I’ll have to go?”
“Where?”
“For her delivery.”
“To
“Yes. Her due date is sometime in November. I better go as early as possible, maybe in September. Poor thing, it’s her first child. You better get the visas and all ready well in time. Nalini wants me to stay for at least three-four months after her delivery.”
“Three-four months after her delivery? So you’ll be away for nearly six months.”
“Yes. I’m her mother and I have to be there to help her. It’s her first delivery. And that too in
“What about me?”
“You also come and help out.”
“I won’t get six months’ leave.”
“Come for a month. To see the baby. In December.”
“I’ll see. But I don’t like it there. It’s too cold.”
“Then stay here.”
“I wish we hadn’t shifted from Sadashiv Peth.”
“Why? Isn’t this lovely apartment better than those two horrible rented rooms we had? And it’s all thanks to Nalini.”
“I know. I know. Don’t rub it in. But sometimes I wish we hadn’t pushed her into IT. We should have let her study arts, history, literature – whatever she wanted to.”
“And it would have been difficult to find a decent boy for her and she would be languishing like an ordinary housewife with no future; slogging away throughout her life like me.”
“And we would be still staying in the heart of the city and not in the wilderness out here. And you wouldn’t have to go all the way to
“Don’t change the topic.”
“I’m not,” says the husband firmly. “You are not going for Nalini’s delivery to
“But why? She is sending the ticket.”
“It’s not the money. The fact is I don’t want to stay all alone at this age; it’s difficult. And in this godforsaken place full of snobs I don’t even have any friends.”
“Try to understand. I have to be there. It’s her first delivery.”
“Tell me one thing.”
“What?”
“Don’t American women have babies?”
“Yes. Of course they do.”
“And do they always have their mothers around pampering them during their deliveries? And then mollycoddling their babies for the next few months, maybe even a year?”
“I don’t know,” she said evading an answer, “for them it’s different.”
“Different?”
“Our kobra girls are najuk.”
“Najuk?”
“Delicate. Fragile.”
“Nonsense. They are as tough as any one else. It’s all in the mind. It’s only our mindset that’s different.”
“What do you mean?”
“Thousands of women who have migrated from all over the world are delivering babies in
“Don’t argue with me. It’s our culture, tradition. A daughter’s first delivery is her mother’s responsibility.”
“Culture? Tradition? What nonsense! It’s not culture. It’s attitude! Our people may have physically migrated to
“Please stop your lecturing. I’m fed up of hearing…” the wife pleads.
The husband continues as if he hasn’t heard her, “What they require is attitudinal change and to stop their double standards. Nonsense! Nobody forced them to go to
“Please. Please. Please. Enough! I beg of you. Don’t argue. Just let me go.”
“No. I can’t stay alone for six months. Why should I?”
“Try to understand. I’ve told you a hundred times. It’s our only daughter’s first delivery. I have to be there.”
“Okay. Tell her to come here.”
“Here?”
“Yes. Here. We’ll do her delivery right here in Pune. We’ll go to the best maternity hospital and then you can keep her here as long as you want. She’ll be comfortable, the weather will be good and you can pamper her and her baby to your heart’s content.”
“No.”
“What do you mean ‘No’? You went to your mother’s place for your deliveries isn’t it? And came back after the babies were more than three months old.”
“That was different. I wasn’t working.”
“Oh. It’s about her job is it? I’m sure they have maternity leave out there. She can take a break. And if she wants to go back early we’ll look after the kid for a couple of months and then I’ll take leave and we’ll both go and drop him there.”
The wife says nothing.
“Give me the phone. I’ll ring her up and tell her to come here as early as possible. I’ll convince her she will be more comfortable here,” the husband says.
“I’ve already spoken to her,” the wife says.
“And?”
“She wants the baby to be born there. Something about citizenship.”
“So that’s it,” the husband says, “She wants the best of both worlds, isn’t it?”
VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright 2006 Vikram Karve
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com
http://foodiekarve.sulekha.com
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
A Sense of Values
A SENSE OF VALUES
by
VIKRAM KARVE
Values are core beliefs which guide and motivate attitudes and behavior. When you value something you want it (or want it to happen). Values are relatively permanent desires. Values are answers to the “why” question. You keep on asking “why” questions until you reach a point where you no longer want something for the sake of something else. At this point you have arrived at a value.
Let’s take an example – I was once teaching a Post Graduate Professional course at a centre of excellence and I asked a student, “Why are you doing this course?”
“To gain qualifications,” he answered.
“Why do you want to gain qualifications?”
“To succeed in my career.”
“Why do you want to succeed in your career?”
“To reach the top.”
“Why do you want to reach the top?”
“To get power.”
“Why do want do you want power?”
“To control people,” he answered.
“Why do you want to control people?”
“I want to control people.”
“Why?”
“I like to control people.”
“Why?”
“Just for the sake of it – I like controlling people,” he said and further why’s elicited similar responses related to control. [Control for the sake of control!]
I realized that control was one of his values and maybe he was a future megalomaniac in the making!
The same line of questioning of persons undergoing higher education may reveal values like knowledge, money, status, standard of living, ambition, achievement, growth, reputation, excellence, fame.
Values are our subjective reactions to the world around us. They guide and mold our options and behavior. Values are developed early in life and are very resistant to change. Values develop out of our direct experiences with people who are important to us, particularly our parents. Values rise not out of what people tell us, but as a result how they behave toward us and others. Remember, there can’t be any “partial” values; for example: you cannot be 50% honest (half-honest) – either you are honest or you are not.
Are you doing you MBA? Keep asking yourself why you are doing it, and you will ultimately arrive at your value.
“Why are you doing your MBA?”
“To learn management.”
“Why do you want to learn management?”
“To get a good job in a top firm as a manager.”
“Why?”
“To make more money.”
“Why?”
“To have a high standard of living.”
The guy I was talking to re-iterated here since standard of living was his value but you can go on and on till you find your value. In one case I was surprised to find conformance as a prime value in a student of MBA – she was doing MBA because everyone else was doing it!
With the rise and predominance of the utility value of education, the most important criterion for ranking B-Schools is the pay-packet their students get and not other factors like the quality of faculty and infrastructure, academic achievements and ambience etc. That’s why there is a rush towards IT and Computer Science as compared to other more interesting and challenging branches of Engineering and Technology – money seems to be the cardinal value amongst students these days! Some do prefer the civil services even after completing their Engineering from premier institutions as, for them, things like status, service, power may be important values.
Is a high salary important to you?
Is it important for your work to involve interacting with people?
Is it important for your work to make a contribution to society?
Is having a prestigious job important for you?
It is most important for you to find out your own values (by the “why” method) to avoid value mismatch. Value mismatch is at the root cause of dilemmas in your life. A conflict between your personal and organizational values may result in ethical dilemmas, while value mismatch between two persons may sow discord and cause stress and turbulence in a relationship.
Your values are possibly the most important thing to consider when you're choosing an occupation. If you don't take your values into account when planning your career, there's a good chance you'll dislike your work and therefore not succeed in it. For example, someone who needs to have autonomy in his work would not be happy in a job where every action is decided by someone else.
It is important to distinguish between values, interests, personality, and skills:
Values: the things that are important to you, like achievement, status, and autonomy
Interests: what you enjoy doing, like reading, taking long walks, eating good food, hanging out with friends
Personality: a person's individual traits, motivational drives, needs, and attitudes
Skills: the activities you are good at, such as writing, computer programming, teaching
Of these, interests, skills and personality can be developed, but values are intrinsic core beliefs inherent within you which you must endeavor to discover by yourself.
Whether it is your work or relationships, value congruence is of paramount importance – your values must be in harmony for the relationship to tick. Value Dissonance due to mismatch between individual values and organizational values can cause great strain and trauma at the workplace.
Even within yourself, in order to avoid inner conflict there must be no confusion about your true values. Remember the saying of Mahatma Gandhi: Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.
Dear Reader, sit down in a quiet place all by yourself, introspect, ask yourself the “why” question and find out your own values. First know yourself. Then know others – try to ascertain their values (personal values and organizational values too!). Avoid value-mismatch and value-dissonance to the extent feasible. The mutual harmony in your values should determine your choice of work, activities, relationships, friends and partner.
Is freedom an important value for you? Will the job you are considering (or the person you want to marry) give you enough freedom?
Do you value leisure? Oh, yes! Leisure is not only an important value but also a determinant of character – If you want to know about a man find out how he spends his leisure! It’s true in your case too – If you had a day off what will you do? Read a book, write a story, go hiking outdoors, play your favorite sport, adventure sports, chat with friends, picnic, see a movie, eat your favorite cuisine in a restaurant, or cook it yourself, socialize in your club, spend the day at home with your family, or see TV at home, or just spend the day in glorious solitude enjoying quality time with yourself ? Or would you rather not “waste” your leisure time and spend the day doing something “useful” connected with your work, career or advancement towards “achieving” your “goals”? How you spend your leisure reveals your values too!
Do you value humor, fun, pleasure, food, enjoyment, sex, family life, quality of life, status, money, success, fame, power, prestige, security, nature, loyalty, love, affection, independence, privacy, togetherness, tranquility, adventure, leadership, followership, competition, contentment, creativity – find out for yourself, and in others who you want to relate with – match and harmonize your values, and be happy and fulfilled in your work and your relationships.
Remember, at any important milestone in your life, when you have to make a vital decision, whether you are on the verge of selecting a job or a marriage partner – trust your sense of values!
In conclusion here is a quote from the German Philosopher Friedrich Hegel:
“A man who has work that suits him and a wife, whom he loves, has squared his accounts with life”
Friedrich Hegel
Epilogue:
Is good food one of your true values? Try the “why” test [Start with “Why do you eat your favorite delicacy?” and go on and on till you reach your value] and do read my foodie blog at http://foodiekarve.sulekha.com
If you love books and reading, have a look at my biblio blog at http://karve.sulekha.com
[ I wrote this article to clear my writer’s block, and now I’m already thinking about my next short story ]
Dear Reader, do comment and give me your feedback.
VIKRAM KARVE
vikramkarve@sify.com
by
VIKRAM KARVE
Values are core beliefs which guide and motivate attitudes and behavior. When you value something you want it (or want it to happen). Values are relatively permanent desires. Values are answers to the “why” question. You keep on asking “why” questions until you reach a point where you no longer want something for the sake of something else. At this point you have arrived at a value.
Let’s take an example – I was once teaching a Post Graduate Professional course at a centre of excellence and I asked a student, “Why are you doing this course?”
“To gain qualifications,” he answered.
“Why do you want to gain qualifications?”
“To succeed in my career.”
“Why do you want to succeed in your career?”
“To reach the top.”
“Why do you want to reach the top?”
“To get power.”
“Why do want do you want power?”
“To control people,” he answered.
“Why do you want to control people?”
“I want to control people.”
“Why?”
“I like to control people.”
“Why?”
“Just for the sake of it – I like controlling people,” he said and further why’s elicited similar responses related to control. [Control for the sake of control!]
I realized that control was one of his values and maybe he was a future megalomaniac in the making!
The same line of questioning of persons undergoing higher education may reveal values like knowledge, money, status, standard of living, ambition, achievement, growth, reputation, excellence, fame.
Values are our subjective reactions to the world around us. They guide and mold our options and behavior. Values are developed early in life and are very resistant to change. Values develop out of our direct experiences with people who are important to us, particularly our parents. Values rise not out of what people tell us, but as a result how they behave toward us and others. Remember, there can’t be any “partial” values; for example: you cannot be 50% honest (half-honest) – either you are honest or you are not.
Are you doing you MBA? Keep asking yourself why you are doing it, and you will ultimately arrive at your value.
“Why are you doing your MBA?”
“To learn management.”
“Why do you want to learn management?”
“To get a good job in a top firm as a manager.”
“Why?”
“To make more money.”
“Why?”
“To have a high standard of living.”
The guy I was talking to re-iterated here since standard of living was his value but you can go on and on till you find your value. In one case I was surprised to find conformance as a prime value in a student of MBA – she was doing MBA because everyone else was doing it!
With the rise and predominance of the utility value of education, the most important criterion for ranking B-Schools is the pay-packet their students get and not other factors like the quality of faculty and infrastructure, academic achievements and ambience etc. That’s why there is a rush towards IT and Computer Science as compared to other more interesting and challenging branches of Engineering and Technology – money seems to be the cardinal value amongst students these days! Some do prefer the civil services even after completing their Engineering from premier institutions as, for them, things like status, service, power may be important values.
Is a high salary important to you?
Is it important for your work to involve interacting with people?
Is it important for your work to make a contribution to society?
Is having a prestigious job important for you?
It is most important for you to find out your own values (by the “why” method) to avoid value mismatch. Value mismatch is at the root cause of dilemmas in your life. A conflict between your personal and organizational values may result in ethical dilemmas, while value mismatch between two persons may sow discord and cause stress and turbulence in a relationship.
Your values are possibly the most important thing to consider when you're choosing an occupation. If you don't take your values into account when planning your career, there's a good chance you'll dislike your work and therefore not succeed in it. For example, someone who needs to have autonomy in his work would not be happy in a job where every action is decided by someone else.
It is important to distinguish between values, interests, personality, and skills:
Values: the things that are important to you, like achievement, status, and autonomy
Interests: what you enjoy doing, like reading, taking long walks, eating good food, hanging out with friends
Personality: a person's individual traits, motivational drives, needs, and attitudes
Skills: the activities you are good at, such as writing, computer programming, teaching
Of these, interests, skills and personality can be developed, but values are intrinsic core beliefs inherent within you which you must endeavor to discover by yourself.
Whether it is your work or relationships, value congruence is of paramount importance – your values must be in harmony for the relationship to tick. Value Dissonance due to mismatch between individual values and organizational values can cause great strain and trauma at the workplace.
Even within yourself, in order to avoid inner conflict there must be no confusion about your true values. Remember the saying of Mahatma Gandhi: Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.
Dear Reader, sit down in a quiet place all by yourself, introspect, ask yourself the “why” question and find out your own values. First know yourself. Then know others – try to ascertain their values (personal values and organizational values too!). Avoid value-mismatch and value-dissonance to the extent feasible. The mutual harmony in your values should determine your choice of work, activities, relationships, friends and partner.
Is freedom an important value for you? Will the job you are considering (or the person you want to marry) give you enough freedom?
Do you value leisure? Oh, yes! Leisure is not only an important value but also a determinant of character – If you want to know about a man find out how he spends his leisure! It’s true in your case too – If you had a day off what will you do? Read a book, write a story, go hiking outdoors, play your favorite sport, adventure sports, chat with friends, picnic, see a movie, eat your favorite cuisine in a restaurant, or cook it yourself, socialize in your club, spend the day at home with your family, or see TV at home, or just spend the day in glorious solitude enjoying quality time with yourself ? Or would you rather not “waste” your leisure time and spend the day doing something “useful” connected with your work, career or advancement towards “achieving” your “goals”? How you spend your leisure reveals your values too!
Do you value humor, fun, pleasure, food, enjoyment, sex, family life, quality of life, status, money, success, fame, power, prestige, security, nature, loyalty, love, affection, independence, privacy, togetherness, tranquility, adventure, leadership, followership, competition, contentment, creativity – find out for yourself, and in others who you want to relate with – match and harmonize your values, and be happy and fulfilled in your work and your relationships.
Remember, at any important milestone in your life, when you have to make a vital decision, whether you are on the verge of selecting a job or a marriage partner – trust your sense of values!
In conclusion here is a quote from the German Philosopher Friedrich Hegel:
“A man who has work that suits him and a wife, whom he loves, has squared his accounts with life”
Friedrich Hegel
Epilogue:
Is good food one of your true values? Try the “why” test [Start with “Why do you eat your favorite delicacy?” and go on and on till you reach your value] and do read my foodie blog at http://foodiekarve.sulekha.com
If you love books and reading, have a look at my biblio blog at http://karve.sulekha.com
[ I wrote this article to clear my writer’s block, and now I’m already thinking about my next short story ]
Dear Reader, do comment and give me your feedback.
VIKRAM KARVE
vikramkarve@sify.com
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